I was asked the other day to give a conclusion to an imaginary seminar I’d just delivered to tattoo artists on the Alexander Technique.
“Thank you for coming,” I began. “I don’t think I’ve ever been around so many hardened ex-cons. Many of you already have two felonies and you’re freaking out about the three-strikes-and-you’re-out thing. So you want to learn to inhibit your criminal tendencies so you can keep on living the dream.
“Alexander Technique is a great way to inhibit habitual responses that don’t serve you. Many of you see a fresh patch of skin and you think, I gotta tap that. I gotta tattoo that. Even if I get a felony, it’ll be worth it.
“Well, think about your mother’s pure love for you. Would it truly be worth it to you to send her to the grave in tears?